I haven't written on here in a long time. I know some of it was I didn't know what to write about and some of it was I didn't feel inspired. I am writing now because I am going through a rough time. I hate my job but I am currently trying to find a new one and on top of that I am being discriminated at my job by one of my managers. In my job, being discriminated is very easy for a lot of people. I am a woman working on cars. That sentence right there screams out come and discriminate me. I guess what I don't understand is the need to discriminate. Am I hurting you? Am I really that much of a problem that you feel that you need to hurt me? I am a woman. Because I am a woman society feels the need to tell me what I can and can not do. I am not trying to be a feminist here but seriously enough is enough. I should be able to work on cars just like men should be able to be nannies without thinking oh they can't possibly know anything because she is a woman. Nothing against men but some of them are so intimidated by us that they will do anything they can to make our lives miserable. Yes I am an intelligent, hard working, beautiful woman. But that doesn't mean you should hurt me or feel like I am some unknowable universe. I am human. You can talk to me like one. Really you can. Doing what I am doing has been uncomfortable for me since I decided to do it. People have abused me and used me. I am underestimated and picked on. I have to work twice as hard just to prove I can be one of the guys. But no apparently that isn't good enough. People's ignorance has to take over. They have to be cruel and make me bleed til I can not bleed anymore. I haven't always felt this passionately about this up until 2 years ago when I took this job. I started noticing more and more of how ignorant people are and how they rather spend all their energy, which believe me seems so exhausting, making my life hell than just accepting me for me and realizing they can be happy. I also feel this way about my personality. Anyone who knows me knows I am not normal. I never tried to be. Ok not never but mostly. Anyways I want to be me. Plain and simple. But sometimes people act like I am asking them to move a mountain or swim from one side of the ocean to another. I just want to be me. But apparently that isn't ok. They are so uncomfortable that they have to badger me and tell me I am not behaving properly. Ok are you the behavior police? Last time I checked this was America and I can feel and be whoever I want. I am not asking you do something illegal. All I am asking is for you to accept me for me. I know I am scary and intimidating but suck it up and just talk to me. Stop being a coward and just live. I know a lot of what I go through with discrimination is because of people's own insecurities but I get tired of people having excuses for being assholes. Grow up and let people be themselves. I don't ask you to change. If this experience has taught me anything it is to be nicer to people no matter where I go to spend my money and to be more aware of how I treat people who are different than me.
"You can overcome almost anything, but you can't overcome a lack of integrity."--Lee Scott
