Truth

It has been awhile since I have written on here. I am sure not a lot of people read it anyways but that's ok. I have been dealing with a lot lately. I am in a fight with my sister, I am still mourning the loss of my dad which happened in January, I feel lonely and lost, I am trying to gain my self-esteem back that was broken, old friends are becoming enemies or just a distant memory, and I am a hurting, broken sinner. In the midst of all I am dealing with, I am feeling the grace of God each and every day. I was dealing with so much at once that it was easier to just be numb than to feel anything. But then I started feeling angry. I had turned cold to everyone. I didn't want to be like that anymore. I hated the world, everyone around me, and God. I thought that being numb was what I wanted but really it wasn't. So then here I am, the same person who didn't want to be broken anymore, asking God to break me. I wanted to feel something, anything. I wanted to feel like everything was out of control. I couldn't understand why I wanted that but I did. I gave it to God and now I feel a sense of peace about it. I don't always understand God's ways or how I am supposed to deal with a certain situation but I am trying to be optimistic. I mean God has never let me down before so why would He now? I would like to think that I am a natural pessimistic. But I have been trying to change my ways ever since my dad died. My first instinct is to think well crap here we go again. WHY GOD WHY?!?! I start thinking my life is over. You know all the dramatic stuff. Then I think now how can I make this postive God. I do not understand but you lead the broken. You heal the brokenhearted. The broken are the ones who are loved. Please God let me give it to you. Please oh God help me feel your grace and mercy. I hear you talk to me. Liz come to me. I am waiting for you. Why won't you talk to me?
I want to talk to you. I want you to give me your burdens. They are no longer yours. They are now mine. I love you and I miss you. I want to be there for you. You just have to trust me. Did you hear that? I love you! I want you! You are broken and you sin but I still want you! You have to trust me. Lean on me my child. I will be your comfort. So then I try to break free from the self-pity. I try to break free from the darkness. I see the picture in my head. God is fighting for me and so is Satan. God keeps pulling on me and so does Satan. I get tempted or I may even fall but God will always pull stronger on me. I was born to persevere. I was born to fight for what I believe is right. So I will fight in this battle with God until the end. Satan will not defeat me. He can tell me lies. But God will provide me truth. I just have to be strong and trust in my Lord Jesus who can save anyone from the depths of darkness and bring them into His light. Do not feel sorry for me my friend. God is on my side. Just keep praying that I keep seeing Truth.

Day 1 through Day 6

So I had to start over on my 21 days straight of exercising and eating healthy because I got injured. I am on day 6 right now. It has been a rough 5 days with a lot of temptation but I have turned down the temptation and if I can make it this far then I can do it for 21 days! I ran for 5 days straight so I will run today and that will make it 6. Tomorrow will be hard to run but i will fit it in somehow or maybe go for a bike rid instead. We will see what i decide to do but I am bound and determined to do it! At the end I get an orange ipod so I am pumped! :)

Day 1

Ok so day one of 21 days of exercising and eating good is done! It was good because my friend Kelsey and I went for a 2 hour walk. So I wasn't planning on walking that long and I didn't plan on that being my exercise but it was. We were walking pretty fast. The worst part about it was the shoes I was wearing hurt my feet so now I have blisters and really bad foot sores. So I may not be able to exercise for a couple of days which is sad. I am hoping I can find a way around it but I don't know. Anyways today I had a bowl of cheerios for lunch and it wasn't that much but it kept me filled amazingly. Then I had a turkey sandwich on honey oat from subway with lettuce, jalapenos, and mustard! It was SOOOOO GOOOD!!! Then after I went to the metro station concert I had a couple of bowls of wheat puffs with milk! SO GOOD!! That was day 1 and I might have to make it longer since i may not get to work out for a couple of days.

21 days of exercising and eating good

So this is my first blog. I am trying to go 21 days of exercising and eating good!! It is going to be a challenge but I think I can do it. I think I can keep it up even after 21 days! Maybe not in a row but at least 5 or 6 times a week! I am hoping it will all work out. I will update on here how it is going. It won't be everyday but every once in awhile. Well wish me luck and I am actually EXCITED!!! :)