Obstacles

Every day I face the challenge of believing I am worth something. Every day I get lied to. Every day I struggle to fight inner demons. Obstacles. We all have them. We can either let them define us or we can overcome them. We can be defeated or we can punch them in the face and say I will win. Life is hard. Whoever said it would be easy is a fool. Every day we must choose. We can live or just exist. We can blame others or our circumstances for who we are or for why we think our life sucks. For me I have dealt with so many inner demons I wonder where I should start. For most of my life I hated my life. I hated the world, my family, me, and my friends. I thought it wasn't fair the hand I was dealt. For so long I was torn down because of my weight. I had issues beyond repair it seemed with my family. I ran away from everything that caused me pain. My dad died and I was left without my best friend. I let myself be the victim. I wanted everyone to feel sorry for me because of the sucky life I had been given. For a long time I only saw the negative and I got stuck in this rut. My obstacles defined me. I could have fought but I just got to a point where I didn't care to fight anymore. It didn't seem worth it anymore. Then something changed. It was one of those things where something inside me happened. I was tired of constantly being defeated. I didn't want to be weak anymore. I didn't want to be unhappy anymore. Something had to change. So I prayed for guidance and accepted the fact that I was going to have to deal with 21 years of baggage. It was gonna hurt and suck really bad but I know I needed to do it. I was tired of just existing instead of living. So I decided to listen to God and change my life. Since then I haven't been the same. I am not saying that I have it all figured out cuz I don't. What am saying is that I am dealing with my problems instead of running away. That feels so good. So this causes me to say that even in your darkest hour, hope is never far behind. If this did not exist then what would the point of living be? I chose to defeat my obstacles. I come out fighting every time. Obstacles. They can define you or they can just be something to prove you are doing something right.