Friday, April 8, 2011

Battle of the Mind

So today I started off with some meditation with God and it was great! I know once I get into the flow of it every morning it will get easier. I am reading this book called Waking the Dead by John Eldredge. I recommend reading this book!! Whether you are dead inside or not it is a good read and it will open your eyes and your ears to a lot of what God is saying.

In Waking The Dead, God is saying in Isaiah 61:1 that "I am here to give you back your heart and set you free. That is why the glory of God is man fully alive." This is what it's all about. He didn't come so that we would be dead and put in chains for the rest of our lives. But you know the enemy. "Make them so busy, they ignore the heart. Wound them so deeply, they don't want a heart. Twist their theology, so they despise the heart. Take away their courage. Destroy their creativity. Make intimacy with God impossible for them." Wow. I mean I knew Satan hated me. That's a no brainer but I have been letting Him persuade me into thinking I am weak. I am just this scared little girl who is so fragile that you have to be careful not to drop me cuz I will fall apart. NO!!! Satan has this way of twisting things to make it seem like that is who we are. My friends do not underestimate Satan EVER! I do it too. I think it must be true since it sounds logical or realistic. Even when Satan is in other people telling us we are not worthy. We aren't this.

Christians have the hardest time. Why? Because non Christians are exactly where Satan wants them. He doesn't need to worry about them. They are already lost and not wanting Christ. His business is finished with them. You know how a new Christian has the high of becoming a Christian for the first time and then that newness eventually fades and they find themselves in this battle with Satan. Now they want Christ and Satan can't have this so he does everything He can to drag them down and make them hate themselves and God. When Satan doesn't win he keeps trying harder and harder. I know this is like duh Liz I know this. But at least for me I need to be reminded every once in awhile that Satan didn't leave. He is very much trying to kill us. He hates us. Oh how easily we forget with life's distractions and our going fast world we live in. For me before I know it Satan somehow creeped into my mind and telling me how horrible I am.

What happens when good things start to happen? There is Satan. Telling us we can't do it. We are stupid and what makes us think we deserve it. We don't deserve to be happy. This has always been a struggle for me. Caring about what others think more than I should. Listening to Satan tell me I am a horrible piece of crap. Yep I have listened at times. I am working on it. I think it will always be a struggle because Satan knows my weaknesses. He knows I have low self-esteem a lot of the time. He wants to feed on that.

You know the more I think about it. How could you hate the God so much that you decide to go against God and the human race. To me it makes no sense. I mean hate is a harsh word. I have said it about some people and realized what I was doing to myself. Not even to that person. They probably don't even care that I hate them. I guess I just don't understand why Satan would hate us so much and God so much that he would want to make sure we go to Hell.

The best thing about this morning? I slowed down in this constant going and going fast world we live in with things to do up to our ears. I can't believe I didn't think of doing it every morning. I think next week I will talk about marriage. I know I am not married but I want to talk about my struggles with being ready to get married.

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